The happy couple.

Who is this girl?

So, Fifa Soccer by EA Sports has always been my favorite video game. Love soccer, and soccer for video games is just awesome. So for Fifa 11, they have this awesome ad starring Wayne Rooney and and various other footballers playing Fifa in this futuristic warehousey, video game playing place. Whatever, none of that is important. What is important is the absolute SMOKESHOW in the Real Madrid kit who is jumping around  all cocky like at 1:53. Look how fired up she is. Look at how hot she is. Somebody. Anybody. Find me this girl. 100 pieces of silver to whoever can complete this task.

Morning Juice

It’s 10/10/10. Spooky shit. Never trust something that looks like binary code, reminds me too much of the Matrix and shit. But anyways…

Chaos:

Come 3:30 yesterday, college football pretty much put its dick on the table and told everybody to admire its splendor. South Carolina welcomed Alabama into its home and then Marcus Lattimore locked the door as the Gamecocks knocked off the number one team in the land, 35-21.

The Squeeze Preseason Pick to win the National Champs must know about their nickname, because old LoLes Miles pulled out every trick in the book to pull a win out of his ass hat to shock Florida in the Swamp. 33, 29.

Michigan State used Denard Robinsons’s shoelaces as a garrote in Ann Arbor, derailing the miracle that was Michigan’s season. Seriously, Michigan got WHOOPED yesterday, 34-17 and the world rejoices for this.

Hahahahahahahaha:

The Yankees completed the sweep last night. Is anybody really shocked by this? I mean, its the Twins. The mutherfucking Twins! I know one thing that my daddy told me, do not trust a team with Carl Pavano as a major contributor. Fuck him, I hope he burns slow. Can the Yankees just avoid getting pitchers that used to play for the Marlins… please? But anyway, I digress. The old, overrated Yankees became the first team to advance, which clearly means they are the best… suck it MLB.

Finally here’s a little something to get you over because the Soon To Be Champs don’t play until tomorrow night:

It’s A Sporgy!!!

Big day in sports today. I had to fire up the Squeeze today was so good. God I fucking love October.

 

Jon Bon Jovi is all apout Sporgies

 

CFB: Minny @ Wisconsin, Mich State @ Michigan, Pitt @ Notre Dame, Alabama @ South Carolina, And The Squeeze pick to win the National Championship @ Florida. Yum.

Hockey: We’ve got two games in other countries (Phx-Bos, CBJ-SJ) , and a full slate of night games that includes the defending Stanley Cup Champion Blackhawks’ home opener. Giggity

Baseball: And lastly, the brooms are out in the AL. And they may get used at the clinching teams homes, which is cool, and weird, but still cool. The Rangers have the opportunity to “shock” the world and send the Tampa Bay Rays back to South Florida with their stingers in between their legs. After that, Phil Hughes and the Yankees do what they do almost every October: Humiliate people from Minnesota.

I am going to be belligerently drunk tonight. Happy Sporgy day Everyone!!!

Get him Jim, Get him Trey

Snow is coming tomorrow, let’s get the fuck outta here, ASAP.

Diva Personified: Brett Favre

Terrell Owens gets a lot of flak because he loves him some him. Randy Moss has recently gotten criticized because of his penchant for not giving 100% during games. A ton of players around the league get a ton of shit for not being good team players. But why the hell is Brett Favre getting a pass?

I like Favre. Always have. The guy is good at quarterbacking. Except for that and driving a tractor, I don’t think he is good at much else. The man was put on the planet to throw a football. He throws it fast, he throws it accurately. His receivers are better for playing with him.

For three years now, he has dominated the NFL offseason with his indecision about playing. He still hasn’t retired. He still hasn’t played a season of football. I’m okay with that. At his age and with the demands that football takes on your body, I don’t blame him for being hesitant about playing or wanting to avoid training camp.

What I do have a problem with are these reports about Favre being selfish with the play calling.   When he was with my favorite football team last year, there were stirrings about how Favre felt handcuffed in the offense. Even though the team had two very capable running backs and an offensive line built to run, the team still attempted more passes then runs. I don’t really trust Brian Schottenheimer as an offensive coordinator when it comes to game planning, so I’ll let that slide.

But now there is talk that Favre is being way too hands on with the offense. Audibling out of run plays and not being attentive to his head coach, Brad Childress. This is of course all after an embarrassing loss to a team knocked out of the playoffs, but lets look deeper.

At his current pace, Peterson will finish with 40 less carries than he did last year. But he has also never scored more touchdowns than he has this season. AD has also lost a career high 5 fumbles. Peterson is averaging 88 yards per game while putting up a career worst 4.4 yards a carry, both lows for his career. One of the biggest potential benefits of bringing Favre onto the team this season was forcing teams to spread out the defense to deal with both pass and run threats.

Let me break this down for you, and its completely crazy, but I can’t find other lines of reasoning that work. Peterson isn’t having a good year. The only stats that have improved are touchdowns, receptions and reception yards.  Meanwhile, Favre is on pace to finish the season with his lowest interception total and best passer rating in his career. The team has the best record since 2000.

Favre is a diva, but the team is in a lot better place now than they were several months  ago. They have finally tapped into the talent on the offensive side of the ball that isn’t named Peterson. Childress needs to accept that his team had a bad night in Carolina and ran into the buzzsaw that was Arizona weeks ago. If he rights the ship and wins next week, the team will have the 2 seed in the conference. When this team is playing for a right to go to the Super Bowl, and I believe they will, the media will be back to deepthroating Favre, believe it.

-JerseyYo!

The Jets still have a shot!!!!

Sunday was probably one of the worst Jets losses I’ve experienced in years. Probably the worst since the playoff game in Heinz field in 2005. Just gut wrenching. Now in hindsight, say the Jets win, they are still probably out of the wild card spot due to being half a game back in conference play. But still, it would have made next week’s game and subsequent scoreboard watching entertaining. But, lo and behold, there is still hope. Again, this hope involves the Jets beating 2 teams at the top of their division, but hey, I needed something to write about, and this was the only thing coming out of my fingers.

The Jets, Steelers, Titans, Dolphins, Texans and your mother are all 7-7. They all are a game back of the 8-6 Ravens and Broncos with 2 weeks to play. Now, this seems a little daunting, but (well at least in my mind) the Jets path to a playoff is very far from impossible. First look at the schedule for just next week. The two current wild card teams play at Philly (Denver) and at Pittsburgh (Ravens). On top of that, the Titans host the red hot Chargers (who really don’t have anything to play for being that they are entrenched in the number 2 seed, but shhh), and the Dolphins play the Texans (we beat the Texans week one, so we own that tie-breaker).

Again, all of this is based on the Jets beating the undefeated (and looking to stay that way) Colts. On the road. Eff.

-Jerseyyo!

Jets lose heartbreaker… Feely becomes the enemy

Jets lost 10-7 to the Atlanta Falcons. The same Falcons that are out of playoff contention and fighting a million injuries this year. Sure, I could blame it on the running came being under par. Or I could blame it on Sanchez throwing 3 picks. No, I’m not gonna do that. The Falcons d is good and Sanchez is a rookie. You know who I am going to blame. Jay Fucking Feely. 3 opportunities to give the Jets points. Not one time did you do your fucking job. Sure, one was a botched snap and one was a high snap, but still, you fucking suck. Not one attempt from outside 40 yards. All this after you pretty much sharted on a guy hours after his tragic death. Fuck you. I’m sending a letter to Woody Johnson to have you dealt with, Jersey style.

-JerseyYo!

So, how about that other 13-0 team?

The undefeated Colts of Indianapolis go down to Florida to play one of their many, awful football teams tonight. So, as the sports fans that we are at the squeeze, we read and hear a lot of talk about the playing status of their starters. Whether they should go for glory or go for history. Which is cool. But what about that other 13-0 team, the New Orleans Saints. Yeah, I know, they haven’t locked up home-field yet, but it just seems like this season, their is tons of slobbering going on about Peyton and Crew. And yeah, I guess it seems like a better story considering what Indy has accomplished this decade, like being the 3rd best team in their conference. But I still feel like more hasn’t been made about how wonderful this New Orleans Saints Story is.

The team is undefeated with a qb that was tossed aside for a newer, shinier toy and then disregarded by the Dolphins for Daunte Culpepper. The team is undefeated with a head coach that at one off coordinator stop in NY had his play calling responsibilities stripped of him as the team was en route to a Super Bowl appearance. The defense has been revitalized by a defensive coordinator that held the same position with the Redskins for a very long tenure, interviewed for the HC position when vacant, didn’t obtain it, and then was let go.

The team has 2 pro bowlers from last year, Brees and guard Jamaal Brown. That’s it, not one “star” on offense. Also, the defense has been fighting the injury bug all year. They literally picked up 2 corners off the street for the Patriots game and and looked like their clear superior.

Still, not a lot of love around the nation for these Saints. I’ll give the media the benefit of the doubt and wait until after they beat the Cowboys Saturday. If not, expect me to write another post, probably linking to this one, just with more exclamation points, links, and loud explosions.

Not your Daddy’s Knicks…

Well…. your Dad’s Knicks would have completely destroyed this Knick team, but whatever. Last night the Knicks lost to old curmudgeon coach Larry Brown and the Bobcats of Charlotte 94-87. But guess what? This won’t be a Knicks bashing post. Having seen this team play once in person and a couple times on TV, there are some encouraging things to take away:

1.) D’Antoni has found the right mix of players very early. For a team that doesn’t have 1 all-star outside of maybe David Lee and barely Al Harrington, they are 8th in the league in scoring (there also 28th out of 30 in opponents ppg, but shhh.)

2.) They’ve proven that they are capable of beating good teams. Before that loss to the Bobcats, 2 wins in their 4 game win streak were against Atlanta and Portland.

3.) Nate Robinson isn’t playing…. that is all