How are the Magic in the Finals?

Sorry for the slow posting day. I finally get clicks and I go incognito. The truth of the matter is… I’ve had to work. Yea, blogger with a job… crazy. Don’t worry, sooner pr later my boy TC is going to be done teaching H.S. chemistry and be blogging all day. Until then, you are going to have to put up with heavily inconsistent posts.

Ok, on to what you all came for: It is no secret that I hold ill will towards the Lakers. Which is really sad, because once I make my big move out there, I’m going to want to go to Lakers games with Meagan Fox… but I digress? I don’t think the Lakers have these guys as outmanned as everybody says they do. Remember, this team is 2-0 vs. the Lakers despite Kobe’s best efforts each time. However, can you guess the leading scorer for the Magic in those games? Howard? Nope. Shard? Uh-uh? The Michael Jordan of Turkey? Hayir. No my friends, the leading scorer is none other than one Mr. Jameer Nelson. Who went from being out for the season, to being able to play, to doubtful, to not playing again. So we are totally disregarding him for this series.

He is gonna be really missed this series.

He is gonna be really missed this series.

The Lakers have the best player on the floor. They have a statistically better bench. They have a coach who doesn’t dress/look/sound like Ron Jeremy. They have playoff experience. They have actually been right here, recently, like last year.  They have home court advantage. They have enough big men to neutralize Dwight Howard’s effectiveness on the defensive end. They have the HUNGRIEST player in the NBA. LA has a million they have this’s.

The face of hunger.

The face of hunger.

The Lakers need to make sure of one thing to not ensure losing this series…. 16 teams made the playoffs, during the playoffs, 6 teams got outright outrebounded. Those 6 teams are Philly, Atlanta, San Antonio, New Orleans, Detroit, and ORLANDO. Stay with me…. All these teams except for Orlando and Atlanta were ousted in the 1st round, and Atlanta was swept by a 66 win team that just lost in 6 to Orlando. Orlando is in the NBA FINALS and not only are they in the bottom half of their conference in rebounding, they are getting OUTREBOUNDED. Now, an argument can be made that their stingy defense and efficient offense will lead to less rebounding opportunities, but c’mon. They are getting outrebounded and they are in the finals. LA, you want to guarantee failure, LOSE THE REBOUNDING WAR.

Come on Dwight, get a rebound. The Lakers wont win if you outrebound them all.

Come on Dwight, get a rebound. The Lakers won't win if you outrebound them all.

So that brings me to my pick. I do think LA, for a couple games, will lose the rebounding war. Why? Because Orlando outrebounded LA by a combination of 14 in their two regular season match ups. Shit, Howard got 20 in one matchup. Also, Orlando’s forwards have played more consistently during the playoffs than LA’s. Plus, again, I HATE KOBE and I don’t want to kill my Kobe loving friends if he gets one for the pointer. So here I go, Orlando in 6…. They steal game 1, lose game 3 but celebrate in LA. Phil Jackson retires, Kobe opts out and signs a smaller than expected contract with….you guessed it…. The Knicks. Mwwuuuuhahahahahahahahahahahah. Enjoy the Finals everybody.

Kobe 2009-2010

Hell. Fucking. Yes.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “How are the Magic in the Finals?

  1. You’re really talking wreckless with that last paragraph, and straight dreaming with that last sentence.

    And the only way Phil Jackson retires is if for some reason Kobe Bryant opts out which would be outright crazy, he’ll be maxed out still have Gasol and Bynum and most likely Odom.. he’s got a solid three more years on the court before you can start to wonder when he’ll retire.

    and oh yeah..

    Kobe doesn’t respect Lebron. heh

  2. sidenote:

    everytime i see the top logo i want to burry my face in those. sweaty or not.

  3. Pingback: Game 3 NBA Finals Preview « The Squeeze

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